Why does it seem like the older I get the less people seem to be doing the right thing? Is it just me? It seems as though people are either not learning the rules to begin with or simply assume for some reason that the rules don't apply to them.
In the apartment complex that my best friend lives in, for example, there is covered parking spaces and uncovered parking spaces. The complex rules that everyone is forced to sign a copy of when they move in says that the uncovered spaces are free game, but the covered spaces are numbered and assigned by number to specific apartments so that each apartment has a covered space for their use. There's no excuse for anyone who lives there to not know this rule, but my friend is constantly frustrated by rude neighbors parking in her space. She's complained to the office several times, but it keeps happening anyway. Why? is it really that hard to follow the rules? Many of these neighbors have kids- don't they expect their kids to follow the rules?
Another example- The community pool where I take my kids to swim has some basic rules posted, stuff like how kids 13 and younger must be accompanied by an adult and kids 14-17 must at least have a buddy in that range with them. These rules seem pretty common sense to me, but it never fails that every time I am there I see someone ignoring the rules, e.g. teenagers bringing in their younger siblings, or most recently a 10 yr old coming in by himself. Often the management at the pool will catch those that shirk the rules, but almost as often, they just don't notice. As frustrating as the lack of attention by the management is, what bothers me more is Where are these kids' parents? Do they know what their kids are doing? Generally I am a huge believer in the idea that it's their kids, so it's none of my business, but it's starting to lead to arguments with MY kids. My 10yr old thinks I'm being unreasonable when I won't let her go to the pool without an adult. My teens get angry when I insist they go together or with friends if they're going to the pool. If I tell them that that's what the pool's posted rules say, they counter with a list of kids they know that are allowed to do what they are asking me to do. I try to explain the reasons for the rules and they counter with a list of reasons why they think the rules don't apply to them. Finally I have just given up and told them that if they want to continue using the pool that they need to follow the rules, otherwise they can just stay home. From my way of thinking, that is the responsible parental response... am I really in the minority?
Raising kids to do the right thing starts, in my opinion, with establishing rules and enforcing them. While, obviously, while you are at your home, that means you get to make the rules, it also means that when you are elsewhere, you need to enforce the rules of the new environment, whether it's church, school, a movie theater, a community pool, or any other public place. If you want to use your own rules all the time, there is no law that says you can't keep your kids home, but if you are like most of us, that seems cruel and really limits a kid's ability to develop social skills. I'm not saying that I think all kids should be forced into that, but I think that it is important that as responsible adults, we parents make sure that we know the rules for the places we allow our kids to go and then make sure that we follow the rules and that we make our kids follow those rules.
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